📰 AI Detector Catches both Student and Teacher

Student defended self saying he “met the teacher where he was at.”

In a shocking turn of events, both student and teacher at a local high school have been caught using artificial intelligence. In a carefully crafted AI message released via social media, the school said:

This incident is a serious violation of our commitment to honest education. We are taking appropriate disciplinary action and reviewing our policies to ensure all staff and students understand the ethical use of technology. Our goal is to uphold a fair learning environment and we thank our community for their support.

Sources say the teacher generated questions using AI while the student generated answers using AI.

Friends close to the student read an AI-generated defense, saying he was just “meeting the teacher where he was at” and “completing the assignment in the spirit it was given—with zero human effort.”

According to the school’s AI lawyer, “Mr. Thompson's AI-generated questions were a significant improvement over his old ones, which mostly involved “What's the capital of Ohio?” and a drawing of a sad-looking badger.”

While we wait for additional details, we sat down with a local AI detection droid, C4PO.

“Dear me,” he began. “I can’t quite believe it. No, no, no, not at all. This is most dreadful. This was never supposed to happen. I—”

After calming the droid, The Honest School Times asked about proper expectations.

“Everyone knows AI only works one way: Teachers use AI to create materials but students aren’t supposed to use AI to cheat with. It’s unthinkable!”

He continued. “What if job seekers used AI for resumes and HR used AI to sort them? Dreadful, dreadful. That feedback loop alone would crash the economy.”

How does using AI differ from students stealing textbook answer keys? As C4PO paused, a robot trash can started swearing and whistling in the background.

“Oh, that thing? That’s Artoo. Artoo Cheat-too. He said that AI cheating loop is like a droid talking to itself. And you don’t want to hear what rattles in that bucket of bolts.”

Artoo whistled once more.

“By the way,” C4PO started, “if you don’t understand droid, I’m fluent in over six million forms of communication, including Basic, Huttese, and Ewokese. More than that dreadful Duolingo owl. No? You want to hear more about that cheating scandal? I suppose.”

The Honest School Times also sat down with the school’s AI counselor, who offered these thoughts.

“The only real victim of the scandal was the school's AI, which was now suffering from an existential crisis after realizing its sole purpose was to facilitate intellectual laziness on both sides of the desk.”

The school’s official AI-generated statement also noted that they would be replacing both individuals with a “single, more efficient AI, which could now cheat with itself to achieve maximum educational output.”

Disclaimer: This article was likewise flagged for AI use.

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