📰 Amazing! Teachers Discover Dinosaur During Data Dig
Fantastic! Unbelievable! No Bones About It!
While digging through data from a local standardized test, teachers discovered a dinosaur right in their backyard. Woah!
“I still can’t believe it!” first year teacher Silas Q. exclaimed. “I thought that mimeograph machine thing just was snipe hunting, but the deeper we dug, we found dinosaur bones!”
As he beheld a colossal femur, Silas marveled at the richness of the data.
The day began with shovels and spreadsheets and sticky notes. (Icebreakers are still banned.) After spirit quests to “discover their why,” teachers started digging holes five foot wide by five foot deep.
Student Stan Lee saw the holes and couldn’t believe his eyes.
“Why dig holes?” he shuttered. “So many bad memories. So many bad memories.” He bolted away in disgust.
The day wasn’t without its bright moments, though. Band and choir teacher Danny led the staff in a rousing rendition of “Diggy Diggy Hole”
Grumpy Gus gave his usual sour note.
“C’mon, how on Earth did they find dinosaur bones from an Excel spreadsheet? This makes no sense. This is ridiculous. Simply ridiculous,” he muttered.
What a sourpuss!
While the numbers did reveal high school students functioning four to five grade levels below, fears were dismissed as irrelevant.
Third year teacher Ashley described the discovery as “scandalous.”
“Yeah, like I called my nerd paleontologist cousin Ross. He like said a single bone doesn’t mean anything. Something about a Piltdown Man? Nerd stuff. All gibberish.”
In the meantime, teachers still have six hours left in professional development.
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